Most of us have grown up hearing about how beautiful marriages are but try telling this to the 40% of couples who end up divorced and you’ll get a negative response. This is a pretty high number that even makes some people question the institution of marriage.
A marriage can end due to a variety of reasons but the most common among ‘em all is a cheating spouse.
In this article, we will talk about the impact of infidelity on a relationship and if a marriage can be saved after an affair.
Men or Women? Who Cheat In a Relationship?
Let’s reach a conclusion based on the numbers available. Technically speaking, your gender does not define how you loyal you will be towards your partner. Both men and women are found cheating but according to reports, men are more likely to cheat.
Related reading: What To Do When You’re Not Happy In Your Marriage
A recently conducted General Social Survey concluded that 20% of men have slept outside of their marriage compared to 13% of women.
However, the figure is not enough to reach a conclusion as the gender gap varies by age and the figure also largely depends on the geographical location. There are some parts of the world where women are more likely to cheat.
Hence, we cannot say that men are cheaters. Now, let’s talk about what forces a person to cheat.
Why Do People Cheat In a Relationship?
Different people have different reasons to have an affair. Some do it out of habit, some out of lust, and some simply fall out of love.
Here are some of the main reasons why couples cheat:
Lack of Respect: People are more likely to cheat if they do not feel respected in a relationship. A marriage is a lot about respect. If you do not give your partner the respect he or she deserves, you should be ready to watch him or her walk away.
Respect here means a lot of things. When people get married, they begin to share a lot of things including their lives. The decisions one person takes can have an impact on the life of the other person.
Related reading: When Is It Time To Divorce?
Hence, you should always discuss everything with the other person and show them the respect that they deserve.
Financial Pressures: Poor financial conditions can force people to cheat. In fact, some couples cheat out of frustration and financial needs. Having an affair can make them feel liberated.
Low Compatibility: A lot of couples are not compatible with each other. As a result, they have to find love and comfort elsewhere.
Poor Sex: Both men and women are likely to cheat if they are not fully satisfied with their sex life. Different people have different expectations and after all, sex is a major part of a marriage.
You should talk to your partner about his and your expectations and be clear about things that can and cannot be done in the bedroom.
Lack of Communication: A lack of communication can cause people to cheat. Humans are social animals. We need to communicate and discuss things with each other. If your partner is too busy doing other things, you may move elsewhere to communicate, eventually starting an affair.
Emotional Disconnect: Couples need to feel connected not only physically but emotionally as well. We get attracted to people we feel connected to and this attraction can turn into an affair in no time.
Lack of Clearance: A lack of clarity in a marriage can cause partners to cheat. You are more likely to cheat if your marriage is already on the rocks. Being clear about where you are heading to can make things right.
Related reading: Forgiving Your Wife After An Affair
So, Can We Save a Marriage After an Affair?
It depends on a lot of things. As mentioned earlier, sometimes people have an affair not because they want to but because they are helpless.
We’re going to talk about the situation from two scenarios:
You Cheated
If you cheated, you must first know why. Was it a mistake or are you really not interested in your partner?
It is important to get answers to these questions before you can think about saving your marriage. There is no point in saving a marriage if you do not want to live with your partner or if you feel that you two are not compatible.
You may end up cheating again if such is the scenario as no duty can force you to stick to a person you are not happy with.
If you want to give your marriage another try, find the courage to open up about the situation. Talk to your partner about how you feel and why you want to give this marriage another chance.
It can be a difficult situation, hence it may be a good idea to discuss the scenario with a friend before you go in front of your partner. It’s better to confess than to wait for your spouse to find out naturally.
Related reading: Can a Married Man And a Woman Be Just Friends?
Some partners are forgiving but some may not be willing to give it another try. Your duty is to give it your best. Marriages can survive infidelity but only when there’s love in between.
Your Partner Cheated
If your partner is wrong you must be willing to let it go and give your marriage another chance if you want it to work.
This is easier said than done. Most partners find it difficult to get over such situations, which is why very few marriages survive an affair.
Also, you must discuss the situation with your partner. Find out if they want out of the marriage or if they want to give it another chance. You cannot be with someone who does not want to be with you.
If you two decide to stay together, you must work on your shortcomings. Find out why your partner had an affair. Is it because they felt neglected? Is it because they didn’t enjoy the sex? Is it because you two don’t communicate enough? Knowing answers to these questions will make things easier.
At the end of the day, you can save your marriage if both of you really want to give it another try. One person alone cannot salvage a drowning boat. However, remember that it’s not wise to live with a person who is habitual of cheating.
