Those who commit infidelity not only risk to hurt the person they are in a relationship with, but they also endanger the entire future with them.
Although everyone agrees it is a stupid move to make, the jury is still out on whether you can cheat on someone you love.
In this article, we are trying to figure out whether you can have an affair even though you still love your partner.
Why Would You Cheat the Person You Love?
Let’s assume that we all enter a relationship because we want to be with that particular person. Additionally, we choose to stay in relationships not because someone makes us, but willingly.
If someone asks you whether you love your partner, would you answer positively? If your answer is “yes,” why would you even consider cheating?
We often assume that affairs happen only when there are problems in a relationship, or a person has personality or character flaws.
While that can be true in some cases, the experts indicate that even emotionally stable people in a healthy relationship can cheat.
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According to professionals, even people in a happy marriage might risk everything to commit infidelity. The author of The State of Affairs book, Esther Perel, suggests that they may cheat for one of the following reasons:
- Self-exploration. You may have a reason why you are not satisfied with your life, or who you are at the moment. It may not have anything to do with your partner, but only with you. However, you are looking for an experience that will help you find your identity again. The experts consider this to be an escape from constraints of everyday life looking to indulge a part of the personality you lost or ignored for a long time.
- Excitement. When you are a grownup, you need to act responsibly. While that is okay, it is also important to have times when you can relax and do something fun and exciting. If you don’t feel you don’t have enough fun in your life, cheating may be a way to add some excitement. It is that desire we all sometimes have to do something we are told not to – it is the fact that you shouldn’t cheat that makes you cheat even more.
- Curiosity – you may think that you led a peaceful life, and ended up married without experiencing everything that life offers. The reason for cheating may be the curiosity to see what could happen if you have gone down a different road.
- Feeling what you haven’t felt before – all four reasons mentioned come down to self-exploration. The last on the list is the desire to experience emotions you didn’t have the opportunity to feel before because you had to find the courage and shut up about everything that bothers you, and the things you feel, or would like to feel.
Why You Should Never Cheat If You Love Your Partner
The professionals have given their best to analyze the reasons why people in happy relationships resort to cheating. Some may think that those reasons are valid, but others believe it is impossible to love a person and cheat on them at the same time.
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You Will Lose Their Trust
The majority agrees that the crucial thing in any relationship is trust. You can resolve any issue that comes your way if you have trust in each other, and you know you will be working together against any problem.
If you commit an affair, your partner will lose the trust they had on you. Even if you were their most trustworthy person in the world, it would be like you erased all that.
It takes a lot of time and effort to rebuild trust and repair the relationship, which means you should be aware that you are risking a lot.
You Will Lose Their Respect
Another thing you will lose is your partner’s respect. We are all people, and it is normal that you walk down the street and think “wow, he/she is beautiful,” about another person.
However, it is a long way from thinking about something and actually doing it.
If you go through with your cheating thoughts and have an affair, you show that you don’t deserve any respect.
You may have even shown that you don’t even care about that person enough. You thought you are in love, and the chances are you care about them, but the fact that you cheated might prove that you don’t care as much as you think.
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Is There a Difference in Cheating Out of Lust and Due to Love?
Anyone you ask will give you a different reason for cheating. However, when it comes to affair types, they come down to two categories:
- Physical – often called cheating due to lust
- Emotional – an affair committed due to love, or lack of it
Let’s take a look at the differences between these two affair types.
You Don’t Plan Cheating Out of Lust
A physical affair often happens unplanned. You may be out with some friends in a bar, and there is drinking involved. After 2 AM, you are drunk enough to start talking to that cute guy or girl.
One thing led to another, and you find yourself in their bedroom. In most cases, these affairs are a one-time thing, and they remain purely physical.
However, if you met another person, and started typing and calling them regularly, that may be the path to an emotional affair.
You will probably set up meetings in advance, and you will consciously go to see them.
Emotional Affairs Last Longer and Do Not Involve Only Sex
Yes, physical affairs are short, and they usually last until you get it out of your system. Believe it or not, these infidelities are easier to control or end.
If you have enough discipline, it shouldn’t be a problem to control yourself.
On the other hand, emotional affairs involve much more than sleeping with that other person.
The chances are you talk over the phone daily, as well as share new events in your lives. You might even reach a point where you are in a parallel relationship.
That is a thing you should beware of, and one that can have dangerous consequences for everyone involved.
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If You Cheat, You Hurt Your Partner
Ultimately, if you have an affair, you will undoubtedly hurt your partner. You can consider hiding the infidelity, but that probably won’t last forever. Once they find out, they will probably be crushed.
That begs the question of whether you truly care for that person. If you can cheat on someone you love, that means you are ready to hurt that person and is that love then?
If adultery happens, it is time to analyze your life at the moment.
You should probably have an open discussion with your partner to figure out what your next move should be, and whether staying in the relationship is the right choice.