Society has evolved and divorce is no longer a taboo topic. While it’s still a painful thing to go through, the fact remains that people are more open to the idea of parting ways if they’re not happy living together.
The divorce rate among the older generation has nearly doubled in the last three decades. Here are some facts:
- In 1990, the divorce rate was only 5 out of 1000 for people over 50
- By 2010, the divorce rate nearly doubled and reached 10 out of 1000 for people over 50
While it has doubled, it is still very low compared to people under the age of 50. Nobody will judge you if you decide to divorce and move on in your life unless you’ve been married for 45 years.
Yes, we tend to treat couples differently when they separate after spending over four decades together.
Related reading: When Is It Time To Divorce?
People will have a lot of questions to ask you and some may even call your decision wrong without realizing what you must be going through.
In this article, we’ll talk about divorce after 45 years of marriage, its implications, and how to handle the situation.
Remember Life’s Not Over
Whether you’re 25 or 55, life is never over till it is over. Just because it’s the end of one relationship does not mean it is the end of everything.
You can continue to concentrate on other things such as your hobbies, work. Plus, you can even opt to find another relationship because you’re never too old to have one.
There are dating sites dedicated to men and women above 40. You can sign up for such services and find someone interesting to have a good time with.
You’ll Have to Announce it to Your Family
Divorcing at a young age can be easier because you do not always have children to answer to. However, things can be tricky when you’ve spent years together and have children.
“I think you always hope your parents will stay together, no matter how old you are,” said the 42 year old daughter of a gray divorce. “You think that if they’ve managed to put up with each other all these years, they could just keep on doing that. I mean, for the sake of their children and grandchildren and the life they’ve built together.”
Children usually do not like it when their parents decide to part ways, especially if they’ve lived a large part of their lives together. Your children are used to seeing you together and they often dream of a happy family.
They may not like the idea of watching their parents go their separate ways, so buckle up and plan how you want to share the news with them.
Related reading: 9 Signs a Marriage Cannot Be Saved
It is best that you inform them of your decision before you make it official so that they feel you’ve made them a part of it.
You Two Can Still Be Friends
It can be difficult to be friends with your ex-partner but reports suggest that people who divorce after 45 years of marriage find it easier to stick together as friends than people who divorce after a short marriage.
Being friends will be of great help because:
You Saw it Coming
No, two people don’t break up overnight. The seeds are sown decades before but some of us either tend to neglect them or try to keep things going until we reach a breaking point.
“Divorce can rock anybody’s world, but the longer you’ve been married the longer invested you are in seeing yourself as a married person,” said Karen Covy, a Chicago divorce lawyer and author of “When Happily Ever After Ends.”
Many people who divorce after 45 years of marriage separate years before divorce but never file for an official divorce due to a lack of resources or other such reasons.
If you’re going through a phase where you feel that you will not be able to live together anymore and you’re pushing it for no reason then it is time to think again.
Related reading: 8 Most Common Reasons For Divorce
You’re never too old to divorce. If your relationship makes you unhappy then you should walk away and find happiness elsewhere.
Get Ready to Face Some Challenges
Young couples have to go through several phases once they divorce but such is not the case when it comes to gray divorce. Your biggest challenge will be your previous relationship and not a life transition.
Some reports suggest that those who divorce late are more likely to divorce again. Hence, it can be difficult to find another partner and to settle down again due to your past experiences.
Plus, since you’ve lived a large portion of your life in a specific manner, it can be very difficult to change all of a sudden according to your new partner. Moreover, you may have some regrets later on.
“I don’t imagine ever going back. Still, I grieve what could have been. Our grandchildren have all been born since our split, and it would have been wonderful to enjoy them together rather than separately. I miss the family togetherness even though both my ex-wife and I are healthier and happier apart,” said a man who divorced after 45 years of marriage but he maintains that he “would be dead if he hadn’t left six years ago.”
Take Care of Legal Matters
It’s easier when you have no estates or children involved but things can get very messy if it’s an ugly divorce. Gray divorces usually take longer to wrap up because both the partners have a lot of things to take care of.
Related reading: How To Overcome Divorce And Move On
You do not need to learn to stop your husband from divorcing you because it will not be of much help. Instead, plan together and reach an agreement.
Divorce After 45 Years of Marriage: Conclusion
Divorce is not an end, it’s the beginning of a new life. Embrace it and start your journey towards happiness.
You might face some challenges in the beginning but things will eventually fall into place.