So you just found out your wife has been cheating on you and your life has suddenly come to a stop. You love her and you did not expect her to do so. She’s apologetic and promises to be loyal but you don’t know how to forgive your wife after an affair.
You’re not the only man going through this situation. A lot of women cheat despite being married and while most such marriage end in a divorce, some marriages can survive infidelity.
It largely depends on how strong your connection is and how badly you two want to be with each other.
In this article, we’ll talk about forgiving your wife after an affair.
Understand That It Happens
You will not be able to forgive your wife unless you get over the initial shock. According to reports, about 20% of married women cheat on their partners. The number is even higher among women in their 40’s.
Of course, cheating is not acceptable but you have to understand that it happens and there is no need to sulk about the situation.
You have to decide if you want to forgive her and give your relationship another try or call it quits. This largely depends on why your partner cheated on you.
Related reading: Why Do Women Have Affairs?
It may be a good idea to talk to her about the situation. Getting answers to your questions will give you a clear picture and help you understand the scenario.
Forgive Her Because You Want To
You do not have to be with someone you do not want to be with. Do not forgive her solely because she wants you to or because you have children or because of societal pressure.
You should do it only because your heart wants you to.
If you forgive her for other reasons and give your relationship another try, you will most probably never truly forgive her and may even bring the affair into your conversations and arguments, making it difficult to lead a peaceful life.
This is why it is important that you sit down and think about the situation. Do what you truly want to do.
Make Sure to Forgive Yourself As Well
A lot of people make the mistake of taking the blame. Remember that you are not the cause. Do not blame yourself for what happened.
If you blame yourself, you will go in a state of despair and depression. This may prevent you from getting over the situation and may also make conditions worse for you and your partner.
Related reading: How To Trust My Wife After She Cheated
People cheat because they want to. Yes, they may make mistakes but those mistakes are their own and not yours.
It’s important to know why your partner cheated on you but never make the mistake of thinking you’re the reason.
Give It The Time That It Needs
It can take a while to get over the situation. You do not have to reach to a conclusion right away. Give yourself the time that you need to look at your relationship in a critical manner.
People are more likely to make a mistake if they take decisions in a hurry. Do not make such big decisions when you’re emotional. Instead, take out your time and reflect on the situation.
Think about it from every perspective. Think where you want to go in the future and if you want to be with your partner or not.
Consider living separately for a while so you can decide if you really want to live together in the future or not. Do not make the mistake of getting back together only to fall apart.
Talk to Friends
It is common for such situations to leave people confused and dazed. It may be a good idea to open up and discuss your relationship with people you can trust.
Do not make the mistake of washing your dirty linen in public. Only discuss with people you have faith in. They will allow you to see things from a new perspective and help you forgive your wife after an affair.
Work on Building Trust
Now that you have to decide to move on, it is time to rebuild what’s broken. It may take a while for things to get normal so do not expect to have a happy relationship right away.
Instead, work on building trust. You can even make rules for each other. Do whatever you need to do to find your lost connection.
However, make sure to not disrespect your partner in the process. You have to work hard to save the relationship but without making it look like you’re working too hard.
Let Bygones be Bygones
It is important to get over the past completely. Do not mention the affair at all. Avoid discussing the situation with friends and family members as it will not only make your partner feel bad but may also ruin your relationship even more.
Related reading: How To Catch Facebook Cheaters
Understand The Situation of Your Partner
Make things as normal as possible and remember that it is as difficult for your partner as it is for you.
You’re hurt and so is she. You do not need to make her feel guilty or ashamed again and again. Work this out together.
Give her the support she needs. Do not make things difficult for your partner as it would create tension and waste all your efforts.
Seek Professional Help
It can be difficult to get on the same page after such a horrific situation. This is why it may be a wise idea to consult a professional. Relationship experts can help you take out all your anger so you can start together again.
They may take to you individually and separately to help you overcome the situation and forgive your wife after an affair.
Related reading: 8 Signs She Is Having An Affair At Work
However, remember that you both need to be on the same page regarding seeking professional help. Go for it only if your partner also wants to go for it.
Give your relationship the time that it needs and think if you really want to forgive your partner or not.