Communication is one of the pillars of a good relationship. However, sadly, couples often struggle to communicate, especially if they’ve been together or married for years.
It is important to discuss things and be on the same page about everything from your finances to future plans. When we talk about communicating, we mean everything from your daily routines to general things in life.
Partners must share their feelings with each other and discuss things that affect them both. A few years into marriage, couples only talk about their kids, pending bills, and meetings. They avoid sharing how they feel about each other.
This is a mistake as not talking about how you feel about each other can cause a rift between the two of you.
If you are struggling to communicate effectively with your partner then know that you are not alone. Many couples struggle as they begin to drift apart.
How to Communicate Better With Your Partner: 10 Tips to Remember
Here’s how you can bridge the gap and communicate better with your partner:
#1 Know That You Can Communicate in a Variety of Ways
Communication isn’t only about talking, you can communicate by sending text messages, exchanging GIFs, and using expressions.
It is not uncommon for couples to develop their own ‘language’, i.e: many couples talk in signs to keep things private.
It’s a fun and effective way to improve communication. However, remember that sharing your thoughts in words is as important as trying other communication methods.
#2 Think About What You Want to Talk About
There is no harm in planning how you want your ‘session’ with your partner to go. If there’s something specific you want to talk about then it may be a good idea to plan the conversation in your head.
You can make a list of questions you’d like to ask. Consider writing things down if it helps. However, remember that the conversation may not always go as planned.
Your partner may say something unexpected so be ready and prepared to continue what you started without making it look awkward.
#3 Make Sure to Listen to What Your Partner Has to Say
Communication is a two-way process. Good communicators are those who listen to what the other person has to say.
Your partner will never be happy with your communication skills if you never pay attention to what they say or only talk about yourself and your day.
In fact, your partner may feel insulted if you do not listen to what they have to say.
Show interest in his or her life. When they ask you about your day, make it a point to ask how their day went and be very attentive.
If they share office gossip with you then remember the name of their colleagues and other such details.
Your partner should feel that you’re truly interested in them and their story, otherwise your effort may go in vain.
#4 Do More Things Together and Discuss Them
It is easier to talk about things when you perform activities together. These include watching movies, taking a walk, working on your budget, etc. The secret lies in working as a team.
When you do things together, you’d be more likely to talk and know each other. However, such things can also lead to disagreements.
#5 Talk About Your Fantasies and Plans
Put your shyness aside and be open with your partner about your fantasies including sexual fantasies.
A lack of sex or good sex can cause couples to drift apart. Hence, discuss this aspect of your life and be clear about each other’s expectations.
We also encourage partners to communicate before, during, and after sex. It does not only improve communication and allow partners to know each other, but it also improves the sexual experience.
#6 Communicate Every day
It is important for partners to communicate every day. You two do not need to have elaborate, hour-long discussions. Inquiring about how your partner’s day went may be enough.
#7 Appreciate Each Other
Words like ‘thank you’ and ‘sorry’ can be a good way to start a conversation and let your partner know that you appreciate their efforts.
We all yearn for appreciation and acceptance but many of us stop appreciating our partners and begin to take them for granted, especially after years of marriage.
#8 Know When to Stop Talking
A good communicator is one who knows when to stop talking. Your partner may not always be willing to have a conversation or to listen to what you have to say.
It is important to respect their feelings and stop talking when they ask you to.
Give your partner some space and do not talk about things that may ruin his or her mood.
#9 Remember You Can Still Flirt
Never stop flirting as it is a good way to keep the spark in a relationship. Plus, flirting can also be a quick way to start a fun conversation.
You can start by remembering old dates or moments. It may also be a good idea to use a pickup line.
#10 Learn How to Handle Controversial Topics
Couples often have to discuss hard things such as affairs and financial problems. Make sure that you handle such topics with panache.
Consider searching the web to know what to ask when you are dealing with a controversial topic such as infidelity.
For example, our 10 Questions To Ask Your Unfaithful Spouse article can be of help if you are struggling to talk to your partner about infidelity.
You can’t afford to evade such topics as they can lead to misunderstandings but being direct can also end up causing issues. So, find a route that keeps everyone satisfied.
How to Communicate Better with Your Partner: Conclusion
We hope this guide will help you communicate better with your partner. The key lies in respecting each other and putting effort so you two can bridge the gap.