It may sound sad, but several couples fall apart despite there being love between them. Surprisingly, it isn’t uncommon for partners to walk away from each other due to compatibility issues or both partners wanting different things in life despite being in love.
In addition to this, at times, only one of the partners may be in love when things begin to fall apart. This situation can be very difficult, especially for the person who is still in love.
Since you’ve landed on this page, we assume you just went through a divorce and are having a difficult time getting over your ex-partner.
In this article, we’ll tell you how to deal with divorce when you still love him.
Let’s get started:
#1 Remember You’re Not the Only One
Have you ever thought of why divorces often take months to settle or why couples decide to separate before they divorce?
This is because it isn’t uncommon for at least one of the partners to delay the process because they’re still in love.
Related reading: How To Trust Someone Again After They Hurt You?
Hence, rest assured that you’re not alone and there are many more who are in love with their partners despite not being together anymore.
The feeling that there are others who go through the same thing as you do. You will even find support groups that work with people who go through such situations.
If interested, you can join such groups and talk to other people about your situation and find out what they’re going through.
Talking to other people who share the same feelings as you do may help you come up with new solutions and understand your situation better.
However, be careful about who you open up to or what you share with people, especially if you do not know them.
#2 Don’t Try to Hate Him
For some people, it may be understandable and fair to end up hating your ex-partner because he did not want the same thing as you do. But, the truth is that it will not help your situation. In fact, it may end up hurting you more.
Related reading: Should I Save My Marriage Or Move On?
Hating does not help anyone. If you hate your ex-partner, you may end up stalking him, which may worsen the situation and make you feel odd, especially if he has already moved on or is happy without you.
So, do yourself a favor and do not blame him or hate him. You should instead try to keep a neutral view and if you feel love for him then let there be.
#3 Attempt to Get Over Him
You will never get over someone unless you try to, so make it a point to attempt to get over your partner by not thinking about him.
We know it’s easier said than done because most of us cannot always control where our mind wanders.
The best way to get over someone is to know that it’s over.
#4 Give Yourself Some Time
Remember that it takes time to get over someone. According to experts, it takes about 2 years to get over someone completely but some advisors argue that you never truly get over someone.
You only learn to live without them, so give yourself the opportunity to learn to live without your ex-partner.
Related reading: He Cheated But Says He Loves Me. How To Deal With This?
Don’t let the number scare you, most people get back to normal in about 100 days. You may feel stressed and sad in the beginning. It isn’t uncommon for people to fall into depression after a breakup.
Stay strong and remember that things will get back to normal in a few days.
#5 Find Something Else to Do
Since most of us spend a large part of the day with our partners, divorce can leave us with a lot of free time.
The best way to utilize this time is to go back to your hobbies, find a part-time job, or concentrate on other aims in life so you can remain busy and not think of your breakup or ex-husband.
#6 Stop Blaming Him and Feeling Sorry for Yourself
Do not blame your partner for why things went wrong, even if you feel he messed up. Similarly, do not feel sorry for yourself.
If you blame him, you will end up thinking about him, which can be bad for your mental health.
Related reading: How To Stop Your Husband From Divorcing You
In the same way, feeling sorry for yourself can push you to feel negative about your surroundings and prevent you from enjoying life.
#7 Start a New Life
Couples share a lot of moments together and do things that bring them closer. This leaves a solid impression on the mind as you begin to associate places, things, and habits with each other. Hence, maybe it is time to start something new and grow habits that are new.
This is easier said than done but not entirely impossible. All you have to do is find a group of friends who do not remind you of your ex-husband.
Some people go to the extreme and even change cities but that’s usually not needed.
Should I Give It Another Try?
Many couples come back together after parting ways, especially if they’re both in love. If you’re keeping your fingers crossed and hoping things fall back into place then we have to tell you to keep your hopes low and think realistically.
Getting back together may not be the best option even if you’re still in love with your ex-partner. Think about why you two drifted apart and have a conversation with your ex-partner about the same.
Related reading: How To Emotionally Get Through A Divorce
You can give it another try if both of you are interested in getting back together. However, remember that it will not be of much use if you do not take steps to solve the problem, i.e: the bone of contention.
Also, do not jump back into it right away. Give yourself a few months to think about the situation.
Down the line, you may not have the same feelings for your partner as you do today. So, relax, give yourself some time, and get busy elsewhere.