When you get married, you think of a happily ever after but sadly not every marriage is bliss. A large number of marriages come to an end due to the husband’s infidelity.
It can be difficult to cope with such situations. In fact, many women fall into depression unable to come to terms with the fact.
A few marriages survive infidelity but most end in a divorce.
According to experts, it can take a person about four years to fully get over someone and move on. However, today’s fast-paced life does not give you the time to sulk. Everything has to be quick.
Moving on is not easy but it’s the right thing to do.
Let’s have a look at a few things you can do to move on after husband’s infidelity:
1. Accept the Reality of Your Marriage
Do not sit down in a corner thinking about your marriage or ways to save it. If you decided it is over then it is over. There is no need to emotionally invest in your past.
The longer you hold on to your past, the more it will haunt you. In fact, thinking too much about your past – especially if it is not very good – can haunt your present and future as well.
Complete the circle. Change your surname. Take off the ring. Wind up the divorce process.
It might be difficult to do all this, especially when you still have hopes to make things right but remember that you alone cannot do anything.
The marriage failed for a reason, so accept it and move on.
Related reading: My Husband Has Cheated On Me Several Times. What Should I Do?
2. Talk to Your Friends
It’s important to discuss the situation with others and speak out how you truly feel about the feeling.
Friends and family members can give you the support that you need. Also, if you have children, then make sure to explain the situation to them so they can also come to terms with reality.
3. Stop Blaming Yourself
You cannot blame yourself for your husband’s infidelity even if he says so. People cheat because they want to, not because it is your fault.
You do not have to cry or feel bad thinking it’s due to your shortcomings.
4. Be Honest About Your Feelings
Realize the need to heal. You cannot move on unless you want to move on. Be fully aware of your reactions, body sensations, and thoughts.
You may have mood swings. You may even feel harsh and irritated at all times. There is no need to suppress these feelings. Instead, let it all come out.
You will never get over the bitterness or sadness unless you spit it out.
Related reading: Why Do Married Men Cheat And Stay Married
5. Build a New Routine
Now that you do not have a husband to take out time for, you might have a lot of free time in your hands.
Use this time wisely and build a new routine. The time you two used to spend together can be used to relax or learn a new hobby.
It’s important to not sit idle because the more free time you have, the more you will think about the past.
You can find a new job or join college again. Do what you always wanted to do but could not due to a lack of time.
Sulking is not the solution. Instead, take control of the situation and move ahead.
6. Find New Friends
Most couples share a group of friends. It can be a bit difficult to maintain these terms after a breakup. You may lose some of your friends and he may lose some of his buddies.
Understand that it is normal and a sign of new things to come.
There are many benefits of making new friends. First of all, you will have new people to know and new things to talk about. Your old friends may remind you of your relationship or your partner.
Whereas, your new friends will (hopefully) not ask you about your ex-husband or personal life. This is a good reason to find new friends.
Related reading: What To Expect From Marriage Counseling?
7. Let People Know You’re Available
It’s one way of telling the world you have moved on and you are ready to know new people.
It might take a while before you are ready to jump the bandwagon. There is no need to hurry up. Take it slowly. Start talking to people and open up about your life.
Instead of thinking about what went wrong in the past, think about how beautiful your future can be.
Do not let your past relationships prevent you from building new relationships. Trust your gut feeling. If you feel someone is right, go ahead and give it a try.
Marriages sometimes fail because you marry the wrong person, so give it some time and look for your Mr. Right.
8. Cry If You Want To
A divorce can leave a person heartbroken. There’s no need to hide your feelings and stay isolated. Cry it out if you want to.
Crying can help you feel better. It’s important to accept the pain and hurt and move on. You may not be able to do so unless you have fully come to terms with your actual feelings.
Do not suppress your true feelings. If you do, it will build up inside you and cause you to feel low and down for a very long period of time.
Crying often indicates the end. Once you have cried enough, you will feel stronger. Merely talking about your feelings is not enough. You need to express it.
Should You Cut All Ties With Your Partner?
It changes from person to person. Some people can end up being friends while some like to keep a distance. If you still have feelings for him, then it’s better to maintain distance. You don’t want to make the same mistake twice.
It can take a while to accept things and move on after husband’s infidelity. Forgive your (ex)husband and realize that moving on is the best solution for everyone involved. Holding on to your anger will not do you any good.