Trust is the main link of the chain called a relationship. Some think that if that link is broken chain can never be whole again.
But is that true? Could you, and how to trust someone again after they hurt you? The answer is yes, but that includes a lot of hard work and rebuilding trust from both sides.
Do you want everything to return to the way it was? You are dreaming about feeling better and turning off Netflix. If you want to leave that ice cream and come out of your room, check out our guide on how to make the relationship chain whole again.
Let Go of The Fear
Fear of the same situation happening again, and fear of feeling hurt is inevitable. It is completely normal to feel that way, and that’s okay. It is fine to feel vulnerable, but you should know that fear is only an obstacle on this journey.
If you build your walls high around you, yes, betrayal won’t find its way to you, but neither will love. And what is love than choosing to trust someone with all your heart?
You can start smashing those walls with baby steps. Start practicing with showing your emotional vulnerability in a safe setting.
Talk to a good friend or a close family member and try to be open about how are you feeling. Opening up can reinforce the belief in your mind that trust is a good thing.
So, the first step of moving forward is letting your guard down and making sure fear is out of the picture.
Related reading: How To Catch Facebook Cheaters
Forgiveness. Rings a bell? Of course it does, it’s a hard journey with a lot of ups and downs, difficult to start and even more difficult to finish, but completely worth it in the end.
You may think the outcome is your fault because you were stupid to allow someone to hurt you. That is also normal, but it is time to start forgiving yourself.
“Maybe this would not happen if I haven’t caused it.”
If this phrase went through your head at any time, then self-forgiveness is the next step you should take.
You held up your end of the bargain and acted with the best intentions at heart. That is something you should focus on. Remember that the behavior of others is their choice and doesn’t have anything to do with you. You cannot expect to trust again if you do not find your inner peace and regain control of your emotions.
Forgiving someone may seem like a forced move because you might blame yourself for what someone else did to you.
It is not healthy to think like that, especially if you haven’t contributed to those events in any way.
Consider talking to your significant other and opening up your heart. Say everything that worries you, and do not be afraid to share your concerns. Tell them how are you feeling because of their act.
Related reading: 5 Clever Ways To Catch a Cheater
The Next Step is To Listen
Excuses are not justifications, but maybe the whole situation is a misunderstanding. Even if not, try to understand and put yourself into your significant others’ shoes, there may be an explanation.
Sometimes seeing the other side’s perspective can make events that happened less terrible. Also, seeing a person that hurt you as someone with flaws could make this path to forgiveness less scary. If you are ready to forgive and move on, then you could focus on the next step.
Related reading: 5 Signs He Will Cheat Again
Start with regaining trust in yourself, make peace with your previous actions, and be confident in the one you will make in the future.
There is no way to be sure of anything, and that is the only fact about trusting someone. If someone breaks your trust, it is time to make an assessment.
The goal of that evaluation is to analyze how they might behave in the future.
Is this person willing to apologize and seem sincere in doing that?
Does the betrayal seems to reflect their overall character, or it seems like a poor judgment at a single moment?
Have they violated your trust before?
If answers to these questions are positive, then the choice in front of you is whether you could trust again the person who already hurt you.
Is that in the best interest of your relationship? Can you accept that person with all their flaws?
It is important to remember that we would not be able to appreciate the good times without difficult ones. It is also vital to keep in mind that relationships are essential to the quality of life and well-being of any person.
Working through what seems like a ruined relationship offers a person a chance to opportunity to grow as a person. At the same time, you might strengthen the bond and reduce the chances of a hurtful event happening again.
Rebuild Your Relationship
It is vital to take things one step at a time. Once you forgave your significant other and put the entire event behind, it is time to start rebuilding.
Go on a date again as it could make you both remember why you fell in love with each other in the first place.
Go on vacation together – don’t think of it like running away. Instead, think of it as the time to bond again.
Do whatever made you happy together in your relationship before the wrong turns are made. Go watch a movie, order your favorite food, and watch your favorite show.
The choice is yours, and you should only focus on selecting things you both enjoyed.
Don’t be afraid to show love or affection, even if it backfired the last time. Holding feelings down may only make the situation worse.
Related reading: How To Make Your Marriage Work
Ask For Professional Help If Needed
Humans are not flawless.
A person may not know all the answers and solutions, and that is completely fine and normal. If you are struggling with making things work out, ask for help.
Those people are trained to help in these situations. If you don’t know the answer, they could offer a way of finding it. Therapy for both you and your partner may sometimes be a good idea to build the chain of trust again.
If you are wondering how to trust someone again after they hurt you, the answer lies in your strength to move on.
Your future does not have to be defined by your past. You can choose to let your past make you a better person, not a bitter one. Take control of your feelings and start creating your future.
Some relationships are worth the pain. Others can teach you new things and help you grow as a person.
You will always know in your heart who deserves to stay in your life and who is worth all the struggle and pain. And remember – you can only build a strong relationship if you are brave enough to trust that person.