The common belief is that men are more susceptible to cheating, but the truth is that girls cheat, too. However, it is not that often that partners have an affair with the person of the same sex.
That is why you may be particularly shocked if you discover that your girlfriend cheated on you with a girl.
Shock and confusion are perfectly normal. You may be wondering what you should do, and we are aiming to provide some guidance that will help you to handle the situation.
Confirm That the News Is True
The first thing you want to ensure is that you don’t accuse your girlfriend without a valid reason. Ask yourself if it is a fact that she committed infidelity.
If she told you herself or you read messages she exchanged with another girl, that is enough as a confirmation.
However, the information may come from a friend who thinks they are doing a good thing by telling you, but the truth is they are only making assumptions without any evidence.
In that case, you may want to dig deeper until you can confirm that your girlfriend is having an affair.
Related reading: How To Read Someone’s WhatsApp Messages on Your Phone
Cheating Is Cheating Regardless of the Sex
It may be weird that your girlfriend cheated on you with a girl. However, it comes down to the fact that she committed an affair, and the sex of the other person is irrelevant in this case.
The fact she committed infidelity will raise many questions, and some of them will be related to why she chose a girl for the affair. But regardless of that, infidelity means that your relationship is missing something.
Perhaps it has been in a crisis for a while now, and you failed to see that. Either way, you cannot ignore the affair. Important days are ahead of you both, and you will need to decide your future.
Talk to Her as Soon as Possible
You are entitled to be upset and in shock after you receive the news about the affair. It is perfectly understandable if you do not want to make any decisions now.
Related reading: Should I Tell My Boyfriend I Cheated On Him?
Furthermore, it may be wise not to rush with a decision about your future.
However, you will need to get the courage and talk to your girlfriend as soon as possible. The first talk doesn’t have to be about your future, but one that will focus on gathering as much information as you need about the affair.
Remember – it is always better to know something than assume. The actual information may be worse than your assumption, but at least you will know it is true.
Now, it is important to ask your girlfriend to be honest about her infidelity. You can start with basic questions like:
- How did she establish contact with that girl?
- How long was she cheating on you?
- Did they have sex?
You can feel free to ask whatever you want to know, but be ready that the answers may be tough to process. It is important to stay calm and rational so that you can analyze the situation and decide on your next move later.
Related reading: How To Catch a Cheater On Snapchat
Is She Still into Men?
Although cheating is cheating, you cannot completely ignore the fact that it was with a girl because it may be important for the future of your relationship.
You should ask your girlfriend when she figured out her attraction to girls. Has that been something she has been thinking about from her teenage days, or she only started considering it recently?
Perhaps she didn’t care that it was a girl she cheated with because she was looking for attention and closeness? Women may cheat because they lack intimacy or feel neglected.
Finally, you want to ask her if she is still into men. Moreover, you may need to ask about how she sees herself at this point. Has she become a lesbian or bisexual, or the girl thing was only an experiment?
Trying to understand why she committed infidelity with another female is important.
Does She Still Have Feelings for You?
It may be tough to hear, but the fact your girlfriend cheated at all means there is something wrong in your relationship. That should be your next topic of discussion.
You will want to find out the reasons why she doesn’t feel well in your relationship. Feel free to express your feelings, too. If her actions hurt you, tell her that, but try to do it calmly and rationally without openly blaming her.
Related reading: If My Girlfriend Cheated Will She Do It Again?
Also, you will need to accept that you are probably partially responsible for the problems in your relationship that led to infidelity.
Once again, there is no need to blame anyone. The idea is to discuss your feelings, and see whether you can move on, or it is time to end things.
That is why you want to ask your girlfriend whether she still has feelings for you. That will probably give you an answer about whether she wants to continue the relationship or not.
If she feels like you should end things, accept that fact, and get ready for the next chapter of your life. Even if you are ready to do your best to repair the relationship, it won’t be enough if she doesn’t want to continue.
Are You Ready to Forgive?
It is important what your girlfriend feels, but have you wondered whether you are ready to forgive her the affair and try to repair the relationship?
It may be tough to accept the fact that you were betrayed, and your pride may be hurt due to the affair. You also need to consider how it makes you feel that she cheated with a girl.
If you are willing to stay with her, some things will need to change. If you want to restore trust, it won’t be easy. Start by having an honest conversation about the expectations you have from the relationship in the future.
It is highly recommended that you emphasize honesty and communication as the cores of your relationship now. If you are going to rebuild trust, it is vital to be honest with each other.
Will Your Girlfriend Cheat Again?
Your girlfriend cheated on you with a girl, and now you are afraid that will happen again. It is perfectly normal that you have trust issues, and it will take a lot of effort on both sides to restore that.
If infidelity was unplanned and a one-time thing, the good news is that the odds of it not happening again are high. Also, if your girlfriend is ready to work on your relationship, you can be relatively safe that she won’t cheat on you in the future.
