Each marriage has its ups and downs, and that is perfectly normal. However, you seem to be in a weird situation at the moment.
Your hubby is spending a lot of time with another woman. You are pretty sure that they are not even sleeping together. However, you are worried as it all points that your husband is having an emotional affair.
That is what we are discussing in this article, and we can only hope our insights can help you to understand this type of affair, and learn how to react to it.
What Is An Emotional Affair?
Humanity has progressed significantly over time. Today, we choose a single partner, enter a relationship together, get married, have children, etc.
During all that time, both partners should be exclusive, which means they shouldn’t have any other partners.
Unfortunately, affairs still happen. According to experts, infidelity can have one of the following three components:
- Sexual tension
- Emotional factor
Some people believe that cheating requires sexual contact between two people, or at least kisses and other forms of sexual tension.
However, that doesn’t have to be true. What if your husband is having an emotional affair that primarily relies on the third factor mentioned on the list?
We can define an emotional affair by getting emotionally too close with someone outside of your relationship.
It may involve the element of secrecy in two ways. The partner committing infidelity might hide that they are seeing or talking to the other person.
Alternatively, the cheated spouse may be aware they are spending time together but remains unaware of the emotional closeness.
An emotional affair may or may not involve sex or any form of physical contact. Alternatively, two people can be in a platonic relationship, even though there is plenty of sexual tension between them.
It is hard to deal with the fact that your spouse is emotionally involved with someone else.
Although it seems weird, it may be easier to deal with a sexual affair than the one involving emotions.
Confirm Your Suspicions
The first thing you want to do is to make sure that your husband was emotionally unfaithful, Take a look at some of the signs that may reveal that:
- You don’t talk like you used to – it seems like your bond is not nearly as strong as earlier in the marriage. Your hubby may find excuses like he needs to sleep because he got very tired from work, and he can’t talk to you now. If your husband doesn’t share, it may be because he is sharing things with someone else.
- No phone touching allowed – you’ve noticed that your spouse has a new password on his smartphone. Additionally, they take the device wherever they go, and they go to another room to answer the call.
- He can’t stop talking about a “friend” – some men won’t resist mentioning the person they are in an affair with at some point.
- He doesn’t talk about his “friend” at all – your hubby might have mentioned his new friend earlier, but he is silent about them since.
We advise giving your partner the benefit of the doubt. After all, you are married, and that is the least he deserves. However, you want to make sure to discuss your concerns openly as soon as possible.
Tell them what worries you, and ask for an honest answer. If you can save your marriage, the only way to do that is honest and finding those emotions you lost somewhere in the process.
Why Is Your Hubby Doing This To You?
The first thing you will want to determine is why your husband is having an emotional affair.
That is why you should have a heart to heart conversation. You need both to be honest and talk about what’s wrong in your marriage without judging.
Does your husband think you are emotionally unavailable? Have you been focusing on children without having any time for him? Are you judging everything he says and does?
Listen to his point of view, and try to see how you can improve things. While you are there, don’t hesitate to discuss what you expect to be different in your marriage.
You can agree on your next moves, and agree that you will both going to try to repair your marriage and strengthen your mutual bond.
Your husband will need to agree to try to be emotionally invested in you and your relationship and stop the affair immediately.
Share More Yourself
The crucial objective you have now is repairing the level of closeness you used to have. You can start by being willing to share more yourself.
Think of a problem that you may be having at work or in everyday life and ask for advice — men like when their opinion is important.
If your hubby cares about you, he will try to offer advice and even resolve the issue for you.
The idea is to show your hubby that you completely trust them, and your emotional involvement is at the highest level.
Other Tips to Strengthen Your Bond
If you want to feel that closeness with your hubby, it is important to work on it hard. You want to encourage your partner to open up about anything that has been bothering him. These are some rules that may help you down the road:
- Don’t judge. Imagine this – you did something wrong, and you want to share that with someone. You are aware of the mistake, and you don’t need anyone to rub it in your face. If that is the case, why would you judge your hubby if they realize they are wrong? You should focus on listening to them, and you will immediately know if they feel guilty or not.
- Offer support and advice. Instead of criticizing, try to offer support. Tell your hubby that he is capable of resolving the issue and getting things better. You can even offer some advice on how to do that, but avoid being too pushy.
- Commend him for his decisions – men are egoistic creatures, and it is important to recognize when your hubby does something well. He will feel proud, and that will increase the emotional closeness he feels toward you.
If your husband is having an emotional affair, it won’t be easy to deal with that. However, if you think your marriage is worth saving, make sure to discuss the issue honestly.
It will take time and effort, but you can work on your emotional closeness.
As long as you make all the right moves, your hubby will quickly refocus on your relationship, and you won’t have to worry about that other person anymore.