Being cheated on by your life partner is one of the most mentally taxing things anyone can ever go through.
If you are reading this article, you are either going through the awful situation or are afraid that the situation is inevitable.
A few days ago, I heard my friend say ‘my wife cheated on me and I want a divorce’. He was devastated and all he could think of was breaking the relationship.
Fidelity is the first thing anyone desires in a relationship like marriage. Once it is lost, the whole foundation begins to crumble.
There are a few lucky couples who get past the situation but in most cheating cases, the husband and wife end up getting a divorce.
Related reading: 9 Signs She Cheated On You Last Night
We tend to believe that women are more loyal than men. However, the gap is disappearing now.
According to the director of the National Marriage Project Bradford Wilcox at the University of Virginia, 14 percent of married women cheat. One the other hand, about 20 percent of married men cheat.
If you find yourself in a similar situation, there are a few things you need to do. Let’s have a look:
Before Anything, Give Yourself Some Time
If you just found out that your wife has been cheating on you then the first thing you need to do is relax.
A divorce is usually the first thing husbands think of when they hear the groundbreaking truth, but it may not always be the best option.
Give it some time, check the facts, think about the situation from every perspective, and then decide what you really want to do.
Know When to Confront Your Partner
You might often find your partner indifferent, uninterested and distracted which may give rise to suspicions of infidelity.
However, in situations like these, you should keep your mind sane and not let suspicions get in the way. Don’t confront your partner or accuse her of infidelity unless and until you are 100 percent sure.
Confronting your partner without having proof of infidelity might lead to a more difficult situation where you will be at fault.
On the other hand, if you are sure that your wife has done the deed, it is time that you confront her but make sure you approach the issue with a clear and calm mind.
Related reading: Should I Stay With My Wife After She Cheated?
Aggression will only lead to more issues, wherein situations like these you are looking for a solution.
Confrontation will help you get closure and will help you decide what you want your next step to be.
Whether you want to forgive your wife and give your relationship a second chance or part ways with her. If you decide on the latter, it’s time to meet up with a divorce attorney.
Meeting a Divorce Attorney
Scheduling a meeting with a divorce attorney doesn’t mean imminent divorce. Consider this option even if you are having second thoughts.
This is because divorce is more than just the end of a relationship, it may result in the division of your wealth and children as well.
Legal matters can be very complicated to handle. A divorce attorney will answer all your questions and help you make the right decision.
Think About Your Children As Well
First of all, we’re not asking you to stay with your partner just because you have children.
While a lot of people decide to stay married for the sake of children, experts believe that it may not be in the best interest of children.
Related reading: How To Get Your Wife To Admit She Cheated
First of all, think about custody. Your wife may get your child’s custody even if she has cheated on you. The court will consider several options when deciding this matter, hence be careful.
What Not to Do In Such Situations
It is only natural to go through a roller coaster of emotions when you find out that your partner has been cheating on you.
However, since men are usually bad at handling their emotions, they tend to do things that might have an adverse effect on their credibility and the divorce case.
Some of the things that you need to avoid in any case are:
- Don’t go all macho on the other man. Yes, he has invaded your territory but only because your wife let him in. He might not even know that you exist. Talk things out rather than using your fist.
- Don’t lose track of your emotions. As mentioned, you will go through an emotional roller coaster and will be sandwiched between the desire to leave your wife and the desire to save your marriage. In this situation, keep your feelings in check and don’t let them flood all over the place.
- Don’t share your marital problems with anyone and everyone. Don’t go around town spilling the beans about what your wife did. However, it may be a good idea to discuss the situation with a close friend you can trust.
- Don’t think that cheating is the end of your relationship. If your wife realizes her mistake then you can consider giving it another try.
- Don’t rush into making any decision whether it is the decision to forgive your wife and move on or to part ways. Take your time, let the storm settle down, and make a mutual decision that will help both of you. Rushing into life decisions always ends up in a mess.
Infidelity is the worst thing that can happen to anyone. If it is happening to you, just know that this time will pass, and you will see the sun of your life rise again. However, even if you are in a turmoil, try to think rationally.
Related reading: My Wife Cheated On Me With My Best Friend
Parting ways is not always the right decision. Talk to your wife about the situation and understand why she did what she did and then take a decision.
Also, remember that it may take a few months for a divorce to finalize, so stay strong during this period and keep your emotions under control.