You just found your partner has been cheating on you and you don’t know how to deal with the situation.
First of all, understand that you aren’t the only one going through such a breakup as a large number of relationships end due to infidelity. However, there is also some good news as a small percentage of marriages also survive infidelity.
Getting answers to your questions will give you a clear picture and help you understand where to take your relationship.
To help you in this regard, we have covered 12 questions to ask your unfaithful spouse(2 questions bonus:)) :
Why Ask Questions
Wondering why you should have a discussion with your partner? Here are some reasons:
Will Give You Peace of Mind
A broken relationship can leave people hurt and shattered. You might have a lot of questions like:
Why did he or she cheat on me?
Does my partner not love me?
Am I not good enough?
Overthinking about such situations can leave you devastated and even push you into a state of despair. Having clarity will give you peace of mind, hence do not hesitate and make sure to discuss the situation in detail.
Will Help You Understand Your Future
Having answers to your questions will help you understand your future and where your relationship is going. It will answer if the relationship has any steam left or not.
As mentioned earlier, some relationships can survive infidelity, but it largely depends on where the two of you stand after an affair.
Getting answers to your questions will help you understand if you two can still live together and give your relationship another chance.
Now without much ado, let’s have a look at 12 questions to ask your unfaithful spouse:
Related reading: 9 Reasons Why Men Cheat
Ques #1: Will you be honest?
This should be your first question so that your partner knows it’s going to be an honest conversation. It will also set the tone right for the rest of the questions.
Ques #2: Why did you decide to cheat on me?
This will help you understand their motives. People cheat for different reasons and while cheating can never be justified, some reasons may make more sense to you than others. However, be prepared to hear the truth.
Ques #3: When and how did it happen?
This will help you understand the timeline. Also, ask how it happened. Was it with a colleague or a random hookup? This will also help you understand if your partner gets tempted easily and if he or she may cheat on you again in the future.
Ques #4: Did you feel guilty about it?
This is a very important question. It will help you understand if your partner really feels guilty about the move or they would do such a thing again.
Related reading: Why Do Married Men Cheat And Stay Married
Ques #5: Do you love him/her?
Be strong and prepare to hear the truth. If your partner still has feelings for the other person then it’s best to call it quits.
Ques #6: Why did you tell me/Why did you not tell me?
The first question applies if your partner confessed to the crimes. On the other hand, the second question applies if you caught your partner red handed.
The answer will help you understand if your partner is truly sorry and has moved on or not.
Ques #7: Are you really sorry?
Once again, ask if the person is truly sorry or only pretending to be sorry because his or her truth came out in the open.
Ques #8: How can you make it right?
This shows that you are willing to make it right. Similarly, the answer will help you decide if your partner is willing to continue to live with you or not.
Ques #9: Did you plan a future together?
This will help you understand if it was just another affair or something more serious.
Ques #10: Do you think we should give our relationship another try?
This will help you understand your partner’s mindset and if he or she is willing to continue the relationship or not.
Ques #11: Why did you come back to me? (or) Why do you want to come back to me?
Understand if they came back to you because the ‘other’ person kicked ‘em out or because they truly love you. It will help you understand if they truly love or if they are using you for emotional or financial support.
Ques #12: Shall we seek professional help?
It can be a good time to ask this question, especially if both of you have agreed to continue the relationship.
It’s better not to ask questions related to what makes the other person better or what you lack as such questions can make you feel depressed.
Related reading: How To Know If He’s Texting Someone Else?
Tips To Ask Questions
Such questions can be difficult to answer. The wrong tone, timing, and sentence can ruin your relationship even more.
Let’s check out some tips on how to ask your unfaithful spouse such questions:
Make sure to show your partner respect. We understand it can be difficult to be respectful in such situations but it’s still very important to construct your sentences carefully and to stay to the point.
Do not let emotions fool you. Sit down and plan in advance so that you do not end up wasting this opportunity.
Stay calm and understand each answer. You do not have to react instinctively. Patience is very important. Give your partner some time to open up and pay attention to what they say.
Related reading: 8 Signs She Is Having An Affair At Work
Also, understand that your partner may be emotional as well. Concentrate more on having a conversation and less on having an argument.
As mentioned earlier, some of the answers can be hurtful and heartbreaking. You need to be brave enough to handle the situation and not let it affect you.
These were twelve questions to ask your unfaithful spouse. Remember to ask all the questions you may have as you may not get this opportunity again and again. Also, stay calm and composed and get ready to soldier through the storm as some of the answers can be very offensive and painful to deal with.