Is It Smart to Stay with My Wife After She Cheated?
You probably haven’t seen it coming, but you now have proof that your wife committed infidelity. That probably caused a storm of emotions inside your mind, and the crucial question you need to answer is “should I stay with my wife after she cheated?”
The decision is not going to be easy, but it is important to assess the situation smartly rather than jumping to a conclusion. We hope that our article will offer some guidance in discovering the best solution for your current situation.
Men Cheat More Often, but They Are Also More Forgiving
It seems that people more frequently talk about men committing infidelity. The statistics also speak in favor of that fact as more than 25% of males admitted that they had an affair in at least one relationship (not necessarily marriage).
The same research indicates that 14% of women cheated, which is still not a number we can neglect. It is interesting to note that only 52% of women said that they were ready to stay in a relationship after infidelity. The same answer was given by 63% of men, which indicates that they are more forgiving toward spouses.
Before you know whether you belong to that group, let’s take a look at some reasons why you should stay or leave the marriage.
Four Reasons to Stay with Your Wife
We like to start with the positives, which is why we will consider several reasons why you should consider staying.
1. You Still Love Her
If there is anything that can beat infidelity, it is love. It sounds cheesy, but it is true. You will find many people confessing they stayed with their partner because they loved them.
However, it is vital to assess whether your wife still loves you, too. If that is the case, the chances are that you can beat any problem you come across, and not only adultery.
However, your spouse will have to demonstrate that love and invest the effort to rebuild trust.
2. Stay Because of the Kids
Marriages with kids are especially tricky when it comes to infidelity. As a parent, you are surely thinking about how cheating will affect your children, and that is perfectly normal.
If your children are not old enough to understand what is going on, they may not even remember what happened.
If you choose to stay, you choose to keep your family together. That can be helpful for your kids, but only if you can repair your marriage and make it healthy again.
3. She Just Made a Mistake
If you are in a marriage, the chances are you have known your wife for a long time. It is now time to assess their character – are they a good person?
Did they make a stupid mistake and they feel deeply sorry because of it? If you genuinely believe that is true, and the cheating won’t happen again, you may be considering staying with her.
Keep in mind that when cheating happens as a “mistake,” it usually happens only once. If your wife has had an affair for a while, there may be a chance she consciously made that decision.
Related reading: How To Catch a Cheater On Snapchat
4. She Is Willing to Change
You had an honest heart-to-heart with your wife, and she told you she is willing to change. The apology seemed genuine, and you even established ground rules about what you expect from each other in the future.
If your spouse told you that they are willing to cut contact with the person they had the affair with and commit themselves to your relationship, that could be considered a good sign.
It will take some time to restore the relationship, but perhaps they deserve a chance.
Three Reasons Why It Is Better to Leave
Even though you might like to stay, sometimes it may be in your best interest to leave. Here is that it may be a smart decision.
1. You Are Afraid of Serial Cheating
Do you know how they say once a cheater, always a cheater? That is probably not true, but some people are more prone to repeating infidelity than others.
Now is the right time to assess your wife’s personality and see whether any signs indicate that she may become a serial cheater.
A bad sign, for example, may be that she is not ready to admit they are responsible for the adultery, and she denies she did anything wrong.
2. You Don’t Feel Good in Your Marriage for a Long Time
Did you feel like you are not satisfied in your marriage even before the infidelity happened?
It may be because it seems like love is gone, or you were not happy with the way your wife has been treating you.
The adultery is merely another sign that something is not right in your relationship. If you feel that it is not worth repairing, it is a valid reason to leave.
Related reading: My Wife Wants To Have An Affair. Should I Let Her?
3. She Doesn’t Seem to Care Whether She Will Stay with You
When you discovered her adultery, your relationship hit rock bottom. The only way to get it back up is a mutual effort, but your wife doesn’t seem ready for that. It takes two to repair a marriage, and you can’t do it on your own. That is why it may be a smart decision to separate.
Should I Stay with My Wife After She Cheated?
The best advice we can give you is not to make a rash decision. You have three option:
- Leave right away – if you are sure you can’t overcome the fact that she was unfaithful, leaving may spare you the suffering of spending more time together.
- Give it some time – allow your wife some time to prove your love to you, as well as readiness to dedicate to your marriage. Think of it as a sort of a “probation,” but don’t tell her that. However, it might help if you are honest about what you expect from her when it comes to repairing your relationship.
- Stay no matter what – whether you find yourself in the reasons provided above, or you have another reason to stay, it is also your right. However, keep in mind that there is no point in staying in a bad relationship no matter what the consequences are.
The Bottom Line
Many husbands wonder, “should I stay with my wife after she cheated?” The answer is not simple, and you probably should give it at least several days to come up with a decision.
It is vital to make an in-depth assessment of the situation and try to be rational. Remember – your goal is to come up with a decision that will make your future better than it is now.