Communicate. Communicate. Communicate.
There, I said it thrice but I genuinely think it’s still not enough.
The problem with communication is that we hardly talk and when we do it isn’t efficient.
A lot of couples drift apart due to poor communication from one or both parties. At times they do not even realize that the bone of contention between them is a lack of communication skills. In fact, it is one of the main reasons for divorce.
Couples often blame other things for the breakup and never try to improve communication.
If you and your partner are having problems then it might be due to a lack of proper communication.
#1 Talk Less Listen More
A major mistake many of us commit is we talk more and listen less. At times we do not even give the other person a chance to explain himself or herself and come back with a response of our own.
I understand the need to be defensive but you must understand that you will never be able to make a valid point if you appear too aggressive or defensive.
Listen to what the other person has to say, let them finish, and then start speaking. You’ll get your opportunity but you must learn to wait for it.
If you do not let the other person speak, they wouldn’t let you speak either and in the end you will end up having an argument.
#2 Be Open, Nice, Concise, And Honest
Good communicators know how to say the most negative thing in a positive manner. There are two rules of saying something:
- Say it in as few words as you can
- Be honest about your opinions
Some people are in the habit of extending conversations. They beat about the bush before coming to the point. This is a common mistake that does not only result in a waste of time but also causes the other person to lose interest.
#3 Understand Nonverbal Signs
Communication isn’t only about words, hence learn to understand and pay attention to nonverbal signs.
These include gestures such as flailing arms, facial expressions, eye movement, physiological responses, and changes in tone and volume.
Believe it or not, nonverbal signs tell more about a person than words, but sadly not everyone knows how to read nonverbal signs. The important thing, however, is that we all give nonverbal signs – often unintentionally.
#4 Introduce Some Humor to Your Conversations
Couples need to be excited about talking to each other. I understand that some topics are serious and require a strict tone but most conversations can be made humorous if you know how to.
It pays to be playful because humor is known to help you regain balance and perspective. Humor also relieves stress and plays an important role in improving physical happiness.
Moreover, laughing has its benefits as well. Laughter improves sex life and allows couples to connect better.
The best way to add humor is to use anecdotes, quotes from your favorite movies, etc. But, make sure to draw a line. Make your conversations fun but stay away from making fun of each other.
#5 Put Your Emotions on the Side
It is common for couples to get overwhelmed due to positive or negative emotions during a chat.
These emotions can cause you to get distracted, judge the other person, get defensive, or have a poor understanding of what’s being said.
Make sure to not let your emotions affect your judgment. You should listen to what the other person has to say with a calm mind and then reach a conclusion.
#6 Use All Means of Communication
Couples can communicate in a variety of ways. While face to face meetings are the most obvious choices, you also have the option to count on phone calls, video chats, etc.
Such modes of communication can add to the excitement factor and push you two to get more interested in each other. Plus, some things are best said over a text message than in a face to face conversation.
#7 Know When to End a Conversation
Technically speaking, there’s no harm in having an extended conversation but some people love the habit of going on, which can result in boredom and miscommunication.
If you want to talk about a specific topic then you must know when to put a full stop. Keep your conversations to the point so that your partner does not have too much information to comprehend.
However, fun conversations or gossip sessions can go on for as long as you both are interested.
#8 Plan Ahead
This may come as a surprise to some but I insist that you give it a thought as planning conversations ahead can turn out to be very helpful, especially if you are going to discuss something controversial or complicated.
It isn’t uncommon for people to lose their chain of thoughts or to get carried away during a conversation. Some also struggle to start a conversation because they’re too scared of the response.
The best way to counter this problem is to plan in advance all that you want to say or discuss. This way you’ll get all your answers and there will be no issues.
#9 Talk Everyday
Couples must talk every day, even if they have a very busy routine. I know couples who hardly get to spend time together but they make it a point to continue to talk via messages or phone calls. Some even use stick-it notes to let the other person know they’re always on their mind.
You do not always have to have an hour long session, a few messages a day can be enough to stay connected.
Ways to Improve Communication in a Relationship: Conclusion
This is all that you need to know about improving communication in a relationship. The key lies in listening to each other, knowing what to say, and taking steps to show interest in each other.
I understand it can be difficult to keep it going if you two do not see eye to eye but remember that there’s no problem that we can’t solve.