What To Do When You’re Not Happy In Your Marriage

What To Do When You’re Not Happy In Your Marriage

Are you unhappy in your marriage?

Married couples at times will reach a stage where they feel as if both have drifted apart from each other, at times it feels like all love has been lost. 

Slowly and gradually you reach a point where there is no passion anymore, interactions become frosty & cool, there is no affection towards each other and that sense of belonging together suddenly disappears.

For many couples the revelation that they no longer feel the same love is shocking, the experience can pull you apart from the inside. Moreover, in some cases, only one of the partners may feel this way.

You ponder and think what could’ve brought you to this point. This isn’t an easy place to be at, but luckily there are ways in which you can rekindle your relationship and fall back in love all over again.

In this article, we’ll tell you what to do when you’re not happy in your marriage.

Define Happiness Before You Start

First of all, understand what it means to be happy in a marriage. 

Technically speaking, you’re happy when you want to remain in the marriage or you want to continue to live with your partner.

Now, in some cases, you may want to change a few things before you’d want to be with your partner. If such is the case, then it can be called an unhappy marriage because the current situation does not make you very happy.

Related reading: How To Fix Your Marriage When Trust Is Broken

On the other hand, things can always be better.

Let’s say, you wish your partner gave you more time but you’re not upset with the time you spent together. Here, you’re in a happy marriage with scope for improvements.

The interesting bit is that every relationship can improve, hence this is not something to worry about. 

Now, let’s talk about what to do when you are not in a happy marriage:

Have a Conversation About It

If you are unhappy, then sit down with your partner and explain it to them. Also, ask how your partner feels in the marriage.

If your partner is content and has nothing to complain about, then you will have to work out a solution.

However, if your partner is also unhappy then things can get out of hand. In such a scenario, you will have to be very careful about how you take the conversation. 

Explain how you feel and what you’d like to change. It may be a good idea to tell your partner all that bothers you so that he or she can make it right.

Related reading: My Husband Has Cheated On Me Several Times. What Should I Do?

We should always give our partner an opportunity to make things right. This is the secret to a long and happy marriage.

Seek Professional Help

It may be a good idea to seek professional help if you are not able to control things on your own.

Relationship therapists are known to help couples identify and solve problems. At times, couples are not able to identify what’s bothering them.

In fact, some are not honest to one another but they may open up in front of a third person, especially when the third person is neutral.

This is why relationship therapy has been proven to be a major success. Talk to your partner about your willingness to visit a professional and get him or her on the same page.

You cannot do it on your own. You will need the full support of your partner to make things work.

Your therapist will speak to you individually and together to draw up a conclusion.

Do What Makes You Happy And Avoid What Makes You Unhappy

Sometimes, you are unhappy in a marriage because you feel it prevents you from living your life to the fullest. 

If this is the case then break the shackles and live your life how you want to live it. The problem may not be your marriage or your partner, the problem may be your mindset. 

For example, some parents feel unhappy about having to leave work to nurse a child. If such is the case, you must find a solution in the form of hiring a babysitter or finding a job that allows you to give enough time to your baby.

Related reading:  How To Spice Up Your Marriage

Similarly, do not do what makes you unhappy, even for your partner. Doing things for your partner, especially when you get nothing in return, can cause you to feel angry or hurt.

Such emotions often grow in our heart and make us bitter.

The best way to counter it is to be honest and have fewer expectations from your partner. This will ensure you have fewer reasons to be unhappy.

Rekindle Your Romance

If you two are falling out of love then it is time to reignite the magic. 

Use your words as tokens of affections, understand each other and identify where extra help is needed or where special attention needs to be focused at. 

Look at each other to acknowledge your presence, slowly and steadily breach the distance in between. 

Get romantic with each other and share how you feel. 
With time and a little more effort, you two will be able to get over the bitterness.

Go Your Separate Ways

Separation can be a good way to gauge your relationship and where you stand. Living away from each other for a few days or weeks will make you realize if it’s your partner who’s making you unhappy or if it’s something else.

Related reading:  How To Stop Your Husband From Divorcing You

Do not let the concept scare you, separation is not the same as divorce. Make your partner understand why you want to live separately and how it will benefit the two of you.

Also, if you have children, then make sure to explain it to them in a nice manner so that it does not affect them. 


Instead of playing the role of a victim and thinking of your spouse as the villain, focus on improving your relationship.

Also, understand that this unhappiness may be temporary and things will fall back into place if you give them the time to.