You started the relationship with your current partner with high expectations. Everything was going great, and you have been together for a long time.
It may be a total surprise, or you were aware of the relationship going through a tough patch. Either way, your partner cheated on you, and you now have to face the facts.
While cheating doesn’t necessarily mean you should leave, you should know when to walk away after infidelity. Here are some factors you should consider when making your decision.
Your Partner Is Lying About the Affair (and Everything Else)
Communication is the basis of any strong relationship. It is essential to maintain a high level of communication without arguments and secrets.
Yes, committing an affair was a lie, and it affected the way you communicate, especially your trust in what your partner is telling you. You are probably double-checking everything you are saying, and that’s the way you should act.
It is difficult to rebuild trust after an affair. Your spouse needs to be ready to go the extra mile to prove their dedication to your relationship.
Related reading: How To Trust Someone Again After They Hurt You?
They need to be completely honest about everything that they are doing. That includes no small lies, such as lying where they are headed or keeping secrets about their work.
Honesty is also important when it comes to the affair itself. It can be hard for your partner to tell, and you to hear, but it is vital to gather all the information about their cheating.
They need to be ready to own up to their actions and tell you the entire truth. Honesty is the foundation of communication, and you both need to stick to it at all occasions.
It’s Not Their First Time
In the ideal world, nobody cheats, and affairs don’t happen. Unfortunately, cheating happens more often than you think.
If you have a strong feeling that infidelity shouldn’t happen, it will be a sign that you should leave right away.
However, you might also stay and consider when to walk away after infidelity. For starters, you will need to consider the reasons why they committed the affair.
The list of reasons includes a desire for an ego boost, new sexual encounters, or emotional satisfaction.
It is important to discuss the reasons and see how serious the affair was. If you are ready to go over a single infidelity, you should never forgive the second affair.
If your spouse cheats on you multiple times, they become a serial cheater. That shows that they have a habit of committing infidelity, and don’t have a problem with it.
Related reading: How To Keep Your Husband Faithful
If you forgive an affair two times, why do you think it won’t happen for the third time? The chances are it will, which is highly disrespectful to you.
There is no reason to stay with people that don’t respect you, and you should consider ending the marriage.
You Don’t Feel You Are Happy Anymore
The affair has affected your relationship negatively, and you cannot deny that. But for a moment, let’s try to put the cheating aside. You want to take a step back and think about how satisfied in the relationship you were before the affair.
Can you say that you were happy before the cheating happened? The chances are something was already off in your relationship. Maybe that is why your partner committed the affair, but you want to focus on yourself now.
Related reading: Should You Stay Married After Infidelity?
If you think that a rough patch in a relationship has lasted for a while, do you have good reasons why you haven’t left sooner?
If your communication is poor, and you don’t feel affection for your partner anymore, you got the answer to your question whether you should leave.
There is no reason why you should stay in a poor relationship that is bad for you. Instead, leave as soon as possible so that you can continue your life, and find better things for you.
They Blame You for Their Affair
Cheaters will try everything to get away from responsibility, and only those that genuinely care about you and the relationship will own up to their action.
You need to have an honest heart-to-heart conversation with your partner and discuss why the affair happened.
If they tell you that you are to blame for their cheating, you shouldn’t stay in the relationship anymore. It is a sign of irresponsibility, and an indicator your partner is not mature enough.
You don’t have to focus on cheating only but analyze their actions in everyday life. If they do something wrong, does it seem like everyone is to blame but them?
It is important for everyone to be honest about their action and take responsibility. If your partner isn’t ready to do that, they are probably not ready for a relationship.
It Doesn’t Seem They Are Committed to the Relationship
You may not feel happy in the relationship, but that might seem because your partner made you feel like that.
Cheating might have only been a confirmation that your partner isn’t committed to the relationship.
That is why you should rewind time in your head once again – was your partner avoiding talking about their feelings? Were they canceling date plans often? Have they avoided any hugs, kisses, and physical interaction?
Do You Have Any Other Reasons to Stay Apart From Your Partner?
Have you been in the relationship for a long time, or you entered marriage, and you have kids together? The more time you spent together, the harder it will be to leave.
If you have a child together, that makes thing even trickier. It won’t be easy to decide because you feel the need to put your kid first.
Related reading: 7 Stages Of Emotional Affairs
While that is true, you should ask yourself if staying together will give the child an opportunity to grow in a loving home. Isn’t it better for the crisis to be temporary instead of letting them see you fighting all the time?
If leaving will make you happier, that will eventually be better for your child, too. You may expect a rough patch, but if you can reach a happy place once you get your life together, you will secure at least one happy parent for the kid.
And a happy parent can do a lot more for their child, so don’t neglect your happiness. On the other hand, you should take divorce seriously. A decision to leave a marriage or relationship needs to be a rational one.
We listed some of the situations when to walk away after infidelity, and we hope they can help you make the right choice. It is important to think things through and discover what the best thing for your future is.