Whether you consider marriage as a holy union or one of the highest steps in your relationship, there is no doubt it should be honored. Not everything is perfect, however, and we are witnesses of many infidelity cases out there.
The interesting thing is that people sometimes commit adultery without leaving the marriage.
Have you ever wondered, “Why do married men cheat and stay married?” If that is a mystery to you, let’s try to shed some light on the topic in this article.
What Do the Statistics Say?
The general statistics are not in favor of men. Each fifth man admitted infidelity while only 13% of women did the same. The chances are that these numbers are even higher in reality because people are not always honest in these surveys.
The interesting thing is that the percentage of men who cheat greatly varies depending on their age. Only 10% of men who are between 18 and 29 years old committed infidelity, but 26% of those in their 70s admitted the same.
What Are the Reasons For Male Infidelity?
The question “why do married men cheat and stay married” has many different answers. One of them is that they are content with their marriage, but they are not entirely happy.
Related reading: How To Make Your Marriage Work
Allow us to try and explain the “entirely” part to you. You can find husbands (and wives) for that matter who will tell you that they are generally happy in the marriage.
That means they are content with the relationship with their spouse, and how things are going.
The problem is that it is not always enough. If they open up to you, you may discover that some components are missing from their formula of a successful marriage
They will tell you that things could be better in one of the following areas:
- Sex – the bedroom action is not as passionate as it used to be, and everything has come down to repeating the same moves and positions.
- Social life – perhaps you are not going out as a couple often enough. If spouses rarely see any friends or go out, the chances of getting bored increases.
- Support – the wife may act judgmental often, and it may look like the husband can’t do anything right. That may push them to look for someone else who is willing to make them feel good. For men, it is all about their ego, which is why that is their number one reason for cheating.
Some men will openly admit to their wives what should be better in their marriage. Others won’t speak clearly, but their actions or reactions may pinpoint to the core of the problem.
They might not even resort to cheating right away. Moreover, men may believe they have given enough time to their spouses to improve the things that are bothering them.
Once they realize they won’t get what they are looking for, they are at a high risk of committing infidelity.
How a Wife Should React If the Husband Tells Them They Are Not Happy
If you are a wife that is afraid their husband might cheat in the near future, or you were cheated but still decided to keep the marriage, you should insist on your husband being honest with you.
It is important to identify the causes of their infidelity (or why they are thinking about it) and work on them. Try to communicate politely, but have an honest heart to heart about what could be better in your marriage.
Both sides should have enough time to tell what they think doesn’t work, and both sides need to be ready for a compromise.
You will also need to show the desire to change and improve your behavior and actions based on what you agreed.
Related reading: 10 Signs a Man Slept With Another Woman
Why Husbands Remain Silent About Cheating?
While some men may be open about their cheating or intentions of committing infidelity, others remain silent about it. That can happen for multiple reasons, which can be either selfish or unselfish. You can check out some of these reasons below:
They Want to Avoid Arguments
Whether you are male or female, if someone cheated on you, the chances are you wouldn’t take that lightly. Men believe their wives would be angry, which would lead to many arguments, as well as long and tiring discussions.
It is far easier to keep quiet about the affair, and hope that their wife will never find out about it.
That will probably involve being particularly careful about messaging and seeing the other person, but they believe it will be worth if it can lead to avoiding arguments and keeping everything the way it is.
Related reading: How To Catch Cheaters On iPhone
They Don’t Want to Hurt Their Spouses
While some men think that they are noble for doing this, the truth is that they are hypocrites. It is true that wives who found out their husbands have an affair are hurt.
However, it is also true that they may be hurt even more if they found out accidentally. The longer the affair lasts, the higher the chance the cheater would be discovered.
It may be harsh, but it will cause less pain if a man owns up to his actions and admits what he did. It is important to know how to confront them.
However, many men refuse to tell the truth even when the wife discovered it herself. They will deny it and act like everything is normal.
They Stay Married For the Children
Even though the relationship with their wives may not be ideal, many husbands love their children.
That is why they are often motivated to stay married because of them. They are aware that a divorce would probably mean they won’t see their children as often as before.
Related reading: 7 Reasons For Infidelity In a Marriage
Also, the question is how a divorce may affect the kids. They don’t want to leave scars on their childhood, which is why they stay together with their spouses despite the affair.
Divorces Are Expensive
Nobody can argue that divorces are expensive.
You will both need money for a good lawyer, and there is a good chance that a man might lose a significant portion of his assets. That is not something they see worth risking, which is why they decided to stay married.
Can You Stay Together or Is It the End?
For many people, cheating marks a definite end of marriage, or relationship, but others decide to stay together even after the affair.
We hope that you now have an answer to your question “why do married men cheat and stay married.” Whether you committed infidelity or you were cheated, it is important to talk to your spouse, and agree on the next steps in your relationships.